Torn
by After Six
Summary: A Marauders' era story inspired by the images from the Pensieve in OOtP. What if Remus was to choose between his friends and someone more special?


Truth be told, James Potter wasn't the first of the Marauders to notice Lily Evans and fell in love. That honor actually belonged to Remus Lupin. He used to spot her in the library, the place where he spent most of his time (and she spent hers). He also used to steal glances toward her in the Gryffindor Common Room, where she would be sitting with her best friend by the fireplace. He'd watch her from afar, feeling amazed every time her beautiful green eyes sparkled when she smiled. He would sigh longingly when her beautiful red hair would flow down to her shoulders gracefully whenever she turned around or threw her head back to laugh at something funny.

Then James started to get attracted to her, and like any good friend, he chose to step back and give way to him. One could not say Remus wasn't disappointed, but come to think of it again now, he realized James was the best match for Lily. They just complemented each other so perfectly. True, he lost a love once, but this story didn't end there.

It was one bright and sunny afternoon, when James for the eight hundredth time attempted to make Severus trip on his own two feet with some mischievous spell. As always, the problem wasn't worth Remus's attention, and he simply continued reading his book under the tree by the lake. Lily came to the rescue as always, Severus told her off for the hundredth times and said he didn't need her help, and then James would come to _Lily's_ rescue. This whole cycle had gone on and on forever, and by now he was more than just bored of it.

Today however, something different happened. Someone tapped his shoulder, or slammed her hand on it to be exact, rather irritably. "Hey!" the mysterious girl demanded, and Remus looked up abruptly. He immediately found himself staring into the most beautiful pair of blue eyes—eyes flaming with anger, but beautiful nonetheless—he'd ever seen, and a face framed with blonde locks so shiny it almost looked like gold. "What is that badge doing down there," the girl pointed to his Prefect badge, "if you're not acting like one and playing favorites?!" her tone was so annoyed you'd think he just pulled off some of her precious golden curls or something.

Remus's face was blank, because he had no idea what she was referring to. The girl obviously realized it too, because she sighed exasperatedly and pointed at the scene unfolding before them. James was now tackling Severus with the help of Sirius. "This kind of behavior is exactly what Prefects are supposed to warn, right? Then what are you doing, just sitting there like nothing's happening just because they're your friends? People like you make me sick to my stomach!" the girl stomped her foot, and then dragged Lily—who was still trying to save Severus despite him not needing it—away.

And for the first time in his life, Remus Lupin was left speechless by a girl.

-

It wasn't until that night that Remus managed to remember the girl's name. She was Cassandra Davis, Lily's best friend. No wonder it took so long to recognize her, the four of them had always paid attention to Lily, and Lily only, that automatically everyone else around her was just like an unidentified unimportant blur. Even for Cassandra, if any of them had to mention it, everyone simply refered to her as "Lily's best friend".

Cassandra Davis. The name resonated in Remus's mind like some kind of spell. Beautiful face, beautiful name, not-so-beautiful attitude, but hey, all Gryffindor girls were like that, right? Bold, outspoken, loud.

The problem was, everyone adored Remus almost as much as they adored James and Sirius, only in a different way. Especially because he was a Prefect, everyone respected him. He was always the one even the teachers admired, and all students looked up to. Nobody had ever told him off or acted disrespectful toward him, because he just had this aura of authority and quiet charm that made all girls feel he was in some other high level that couldn't be reached. Maybe that was also why no girls had made a move on him yet. Because he was always so serious, quiet, and all in all just the good boy, the teacher's favorite.

So it was no wonder that what Cassandra did today shocked him. And in a way, made him curious and attracted to her. Most of all, she was right about him. He'd never tried to stop his friends from being mean to Severus, or to anybody for that matter. Which was not he was supposed to do, he assumed, when he was made Prefect. In fact, he suspected he was made Prefect so he could control his friends. But then again… what would his friends say when he started acting like a real Prefect? He was sure they'd laugh at his face when he threatened to take points from his own house… from his own _best friends_.

Remus was torn.

-

His hope to never have to encounter such tricky situation anymore didn't come true. It was only the next day, and James had found a new idea to humiliate Severus in public again. Remus watched worriedly as his best friend cast some spell to make horns somehow grew out of Severus's head when they spotted him coming through the Great Hall's doors. Everyone was laughing hysterically, and then James proceeded to grow tail from the Slytherin's behind. _Please let Lily and Cassandra be in the library, or wherever else far away from here…_ Remus prayed, not wanting to be forced to choose between his friends or Cassandra.

He didn't even know why he wanted to listen to Cassandra. Why he didn't want her to see him in the same situation as yesterday, why he didn't want to _disappoint_ her again. It didn't make sense, especially because yesterday was their first conversation ever (if it could be counted, since he didn't say anything).

As the crowd cheered even more, what he was afraid of the most happened. Luck was not on his side, because at that exact time Lily and Cassandra strolled into the Great Hall, and of course attracted by the commotion, they decided to see what it was all about. Just a few steps more and Cassandra would see him clearly, standing there doing nothing. James was still doing who-knows-what to Severus, who was attempting to curse him back, and there was no way he could stop history from being repeated.

When Cassandra finally shoved the last person standing before her and got a clear view, Remus didn't know what happened but he found himself standing up and pulling James's arm right before he was about to say another spell. His best friend looked at him in surprise and confusion, and suddenly everyone was quiet. All eyes were on him now, even Severus seemed curious about what he was going to do. Cassandra raised a skeptical brow, waiting.

"I…" Remus found himself stuttering for some unexplainable reason, "If you don't stop this right now, I'll have to… to…" he looked from James to Cassandra and back again, "…take points from Gryffindor." Everyone gasped. "And Slytherin," he added quickly, to be fair. But it didn't make a difference. What seemed like a hundred pairs of eyes stared at him in disbelief, the widest of all belonged to James. Peter's mouth actually gaped wide enough for a Quaffle to enter.

"Excuse me?" James said, almost laughing. "This is a joke, right?"

Remus never felt more foolish in his life, and he wished the ground would open up and swallow him. "No, James, I'm not kidding. This… this has got to stop. You can't keep bullying others and get away with it."

Sirius's eyes widened and he stared at Remus as if he were insane. "What has gotten into you?"

Before he could find an answer to that, thankfully, at that exact moment Professor McGonagall entered the Great Hall, apparently already heard there was trouble, to check what was wrong. Everyone parted at once, scurrying off to different directions. From the corner of his eye Remus could see Lily pulled Cassandra toward their Common Room, and he couldn't guess the expression on her face. What remained from the crowd was now only the four of them, standing in silence. Remus, not knowing what had gotten into him either, walked to the library with fast paces, leaving his three confused friends behind.

-

"You can't hide from us forever, you know," Sirius's head popped up behind the book Remus was reading—or rather, pretended to be reading since obviously his mind was too chaotic to focus on a book—and Remus jumped, startled.

"Yeah, we're living in the same dorm and all, just in case you've forgotten," James sat down beside him. Peter occupied the seat on his other side, as always not having too many opinions but always there nonetheless. Now he felt like he was placed in a trial, with three pairs of accusing eyes staring at him.

"Can we discuss this in said dorm? This is the library," he tried to keep his cool, although it felt like there were tons of butterflies in his stomach.

"We can, if you'd leave with us now and stop pretending you have a very important book to read," said James with a knowing look.

Remus put down his book and sighed. He couldn't expect his friends to not see through him, now could he? "Fine."

The four of them stood up and left, and all the way to the Common Room, Remus contemplated the best way to explain it to them without giving out the fact that he might—keyword, _might_—be attracted to Cassandra. Or that he had actually listened to a girl. A bossy one, at that.

Before he could think of anything that didn't require him to fabricate a complete and utter lie like someone had put a spell on him or something, they'd arrived in front of the Fat Lady portrait. And before he knew it, the four of them had huddled in front of the fireplace—neither Lily nor Cassandra was seen—and it was time to confess.

His friends were waiting expectantly, and finally he couldn't hold it any longer. "Okay. Here's the deal. I've received some… complaints… about how I'm a Prefect and I'm letting you all act like you own the school without getting punishments."

Peter looked worried. "From who? A teacher?"

Remus had to tell the truth, and he shook his head.

"Who then?" James demanded. "We'll take care of that little snobby brat who dared to do such thing!"

"Yes, yes, I'll teach him what will happen when you act disrespectful toward our best friend!" added Sirius.

"No, no, you cannot beat him up," Remus said at once. "See… the thing is…" this was the hard part. "It's… a girl," he finally admitted.

"A GIRL?" James looked flabbergasted. "Who knew Gryffindor girls could be so annoying? Unless you mean Lily?" he had a mixed expression on his face when he thought about this idea.

Remus quickly shook his head. "No, it's… Cassandra Davis."

"Cassa who?" Sirius looked puzzled.

"Cassandra Davis. Lily's best friend?" See, none of them ever paid attention to her. Until now, apparently.

"Oh. Well, no wonder she's just as annoying," James snorted. Although Remus knew deep inside he was falling for her head over heels. Lily, he meant. Not Cassandra.

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why you would listen to _her_," Sirius pointed out.

This one Remus couldn't answer. Finally, he said weakly, "Well… she's… you know, right," he shrugged. "Nobody had ever told me that I was acting unlike a Prefect, and I guess she kind of made me realize I'm not."

James eyed him curiously. Remus didn't want to meet any of his friends' eyes, and looked down nervously. He could use James's Invisibility Cloak right about now.

"I don't think that's the reason," James said suddenly. "I don't think the reason you listened to her is because she's the first person ever to have said it to your face… I think the reason is because it's _her_ who said it."

Peter gave James a quizzical look but Remus's face immediately felt warmer. "What are you talking about?" he snapped.

"Oh, I get it," Sirius now looked triumphant as well. "You _like_ her. You like Cassandra Davis."

Peter gasped and covered his mouth, his expression a mix of surprise and suppressed laughter.

That was it. Remus's death sentence. "Where did you get that nonsense from?" he demanded. But Peter, James, and Sirius were all laughing so hard it was impossible to make them listen to him.

"Don't… bother," James said, trying to speak and laugh at the same time. "Your face says it all."

Remus felt his face became even warmer.

"Oh wow," Sirius was rolling on the floor. "The cool and calm Mr. Lupin finally fell in love with a girl!"

"Will you be quiet? The whole world can hear you," Remus looked worriedly at the curious Gryffindor students' eyes around them, wanting to know what was so funny.

"Sorry… but," James wiped his eyes. "It's just so funny. I never imagined you would fall for a girl."

"What, do you think I'd fall for a boy?" Remus snorted in annoyance.

"Hey, hey, we're sorry, really," Sirius patted his back. "It's okay. We're just glad you're normal." And with that, the three of them exploded with laughter again, while Remus stomped into the dorm, fuming and cursing himself for being stupid enough to tell his friends about it.

-

It was now a cloudy Sunday, and Remus was sitting on his favorite spot under the tree by the Great Lake, watching the Giant Squid splashing water to students nearby. He didn't know where his friends were, these days it was easier for his temper to just stay away from them. Every time they passed Cassandra, his friends would poke him and start giggling like girls, it was so annoying. How unfair. When James fell for Lily, nobody thought it was funny. Why was it funny now that he fell for someone? What was the difference?

His thoughts then wandered to Cassandra's goddess-like face, and he realized now every time their eyes met his heart would skip a beat and he would tear away his gaze from her quickly. He was falling, and falling hard. Remus sighed and turned his attention back to his book, when someone sat down beside him. He turned to look and felt his heart jumped into his throat—it was the exact girl he'd just been dreaming. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"What you did was brave," Cassandra said before he could say anything. "Doing the right thing like that. I know it wasn't easy, with them being your friends and all. I thought you wouldn't listen to me. Apparently all you needed was someone to tell you what was right." She twirled her curls around her finger and tilted her head. "I must admit I was wrong about you. I thought you were as stubborn as your friends. Good to know you still have some brains and common sense."

Her speech was so flattering that Remus found himself speechless again. He mustered his energy and finally found his voice. "I… uh, thanks. I guess I just… realized you were right. Thank you for telling me that."

So not a speech that could steal a girl's heart.

But it seemed like it didn't matter. Cassandra moved closer to him, and for a brief moment he felt her skin brushed against his and his whole body tingled. "What do you say… we go to Hogsmeade together on the next trip? The thing is… Lily finally agreed to go out with James, and I don't really want to be a third wheel and tag along on their date," she pretended to be disgusted. "I know for a fact I don't want to be there when they kiss."

Remus laughed. "Okay. Sounds good."

"Would your other two friends be okay with that? I mean, the four of you go everywhere together, right? And now that James will be with Lily, wouldn't they expect you to not leave them to go with a girl as well?"

She made a good point. But Remus wasn't exactly enjoying their company that much these days either. He simply shrugged. "They'll live." He smiled, thinking how Sirius would complain because he would be stuck with Peter. _Well, that's what you get for laughing at me 24 hours a day…_

Cassandra seemed to like his answer. "It's a date then," she smiled, and he was amazed at how even more beautiful she looked with a smile on her face. She stood up and left before he could say anything more, but Remus didn't mind. That day, he was the one who was smiling broadly day and night, while his friends were driven insane from extreme curiosity as to what had made him so happy.

-

From that point on, aside from the occasional song of "Remus and Cassandra, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" that came from James, Sirius, and Peter, everything else went smoothly. Their first kiss didn't take place in a tree, but on his favorite spot, by the lake. Right after that magical moment, the Giant Squid who apparently despised Public Display of Affection splashed them with so much water they were soaking wet. If anything, that was a sweet and funny memory.

They were walking toward the library together one day, linking arms, when they found James, as always, cornering Severus in the corridor. James lifted his wand and was ready to say a spell when Remus shouted, "I'll have to take ten points from Gryffindor if you do that, James."

James turned toward them, and his face fell. "Aw, you're no fun anymore now, Remus. She's giving you bad influence, trust me."

"Be good, James, or I'll tell Lily," now Cassandra threatened. "I don't believe she'd like to go out with you again if she knew what you're doing behind her back."

James rolled his eyes. "You two make such a boring couple."

Remus only laughed to that. If only James knew what they did together everyday, he'd think twice before labeling them as boring. But then again, what James didn't know wouldn't hurt him. The same goes for Remus's little secret about his crush for Lily. Truth be told, it wasn't even worth being discussed anymore. Not with Cassandra on his side.


End file.
